Jury Duty

 

Loaded down with compromise

And purple with potential in our breath

We’re tired stories

And whispers late at night into the phone

 

With bruises on our ribs and egos

From parking fines and shoulders on the street

Intentions tangled

Like two teens trying hard to be alone

 

Let’s list the reasons why we’re too afraid to sleep in the dark

The sound of fridges and the sting of the past tense

Show me the games you play to keep away the worst of your doubt

And I promise

I will never lie again

 

There is beauty in our bodies

More than fumbling locks and keys

Hold my hand and say it with me

I am not my insecurity

There’s one thing keeping your clothes on

And it’s not me

 

Let’s break the floor beneath our beds and dig for something we lost

I don’t remember what it’s called but I miss it

Another evening dialing customer support to just talk

But I promise

This is not the end of us

 

Let’s make my noisy upstair neighbors into cloud shapes

And see if everything is better after midnight comes

Please take us home

 

Wordless, linger in the doorway

You won’t regret your choices ‘til she leaves

The distant gavel

You wanna go, and yet you still remain

 

Let’s list decisions that we wish we didn’t have to survive

I’ll show you all the wilted photos they come with

Show me the usernames we made when we were comedy queens

And they’ll make us

More than what’s been done to us

Let’s list the reasons why we’re too afraid to sleep in the dark

The sound of fridges and the sting of the past tense

Show me the games you play to keep away the worst of your doubt

And I promise

I will never lie again

Young/Lovely

 

Certainty
It’s the Safeco screen
Shout out the answer the ball in the hats
One, two, three

Suddenly
Not so quick to choose
So fixed on the fine print you balance regret
With what you’ll lose

Trick or treat
(Tear apart your old receipts)
Bring your old receipts
Sort out the letters and we’ll spell out words
Too small to see

Darling
I’m not laughing as loud as I used to
I don’t sleep
Could you call in sick tomorrow?
Cause this joke might take all night

Honestly
(Smile like you’re scared like me)
Are you scared like me?
Not of the monsters at war and bombs beneath beds
But of little lies

Like sympathy
(No pink pills a full night’s sleep)
And a full night’s sleep
I’ve built a prison from read receipt times
Do you wanna see?

Darling
I’m not laughing as loud as I used to
I can’t keep
Calling home expecting answers
Is this what I am now?
I’m stuck but don’t know how
Both roads getting steeper
I’m trapped by procedure
Tell me which goodbye to write

Hang my bachelor’s degree
From the ceiling
Buy a fat plastic bat down the street
I’m hosting a party
Let’s take a few swings
And see what comes out beyond candy

We were born far too late for the oceans
And the same but too soon for the stars
The age of anxiety bubbling up
Over windows of borrowed and filthy cars

Our only frontier is our fleeting sense of meaning
And we’ve got a few hours until morning
If you wanna talk it out

Look at me
All these doors I’ve shut
All of my memory’s got red and blue wires
I’m scared to cut

Darling
I’m not laughing as loud as I used to
I feel cheap, why’s the future so misleading?
Think hard with me
Try to believe
We’ll make our life like the movies
I think I left my faith inside the theatre
With whatever get better means
Where I cried at the final scene
Showing us with some scissors and foul-line seats
Making choices with nothing but sweet beliefs
Singing:
If we can’t be young and lovely
We will just be young